Tips for Killing Bad Habits and Developing Good Ones

“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.”

You do the same things you did yesterday, the day before and every day for the last month. It’s estimated that out of every 11,000 signals we receive from our senses, our brain only consciously processes 40. [1]

Habits either good or bad make you who you are now. The point is that you can control them. If you know how to change your habits, even a small effort then can create big changes. Here are some tips to get you started:

One Habit For 30 Days – You should focus on only one change for 30 days. After that time it has been sufficiently conditioned to become a habit. 

One Habit at a Time – A month may seem long to focus on only one change, but sometime it becomes reckless if you try to change more than a few habits at a time. With just one habit change you can focus on making it firmly stick. Multitasking often means none become habits. 

Use a Trigger – A trigger is a short ritual you perform before a habit. If you want to wake up earlier, this can be jumping out of bed as soon as you hear the sound of your alarm. If you wanted to stop smoking this could be snapping your fingers every time you feel the urge for a cigarette. A trigger helps condition a new pattern more consistently.

Replace Lost Needs – If you opened up your computer and started removing hardware, what would happen? Chances are your computer wouldn’t work. Similarly, you can’t just pull out habits without replacing the needs they fulfill. Giving up night-going might mean you need to find a new way to relax, socialize or get information at home.

Balance Feedback – The difference between long-term change and giving up on day 31st is the balance of feedback. If your change creates more pain in your life than joy, it is going to be hard to stick to. Don’t go to the gym if you hate it, but find diets, exercise, or financial plans that are fun to follow and support you.

“But” to Kill Bad Thoughts – A prominent habit-changing therapist once told us a great way to nuke bad thinking. Anytime you feel yourself thinking negatively about yourself, use the word “but” and point out positive aspects. “I’m lousy at this job – but – if I keep at it I can probably improve.

Write it down – Don’t leave commitments in your brain floating around. Write them on paper. This does two things. First, it creates clarity by defining in specific terms what your change means. Second, it keeps you committed since it is easy to dismiss a thought, but harder to dismiss a promise printed in front of you.

30, 90, 365 – I can say that most habits go through a series of checkpoints in terms of conditioning. The first is at 30 days. Here it doesn’t require willpower to continue your change, but problems might offset it. At 90 days, any change should be neutral where running the habit is no more difficult than not running it. At one year it is generally harder not to run the habit than to continue with it. Be patient and run habits through the three checkpoints to make them stick.

Make Public Commitment – Make a public commitment to everyone you know that you’re going to stick with it. If you do not want to be embarrassed, try your best to achieve what you have previously declared. Also, offer yourself a reward if you make it a month; anything to give yourself that extra push.

Keep it Simple – Your change should involve one or two rules, not a dozen. Exercising once per day for at least 30 minutes is easier to follow than go jogging on Tuesdays, hiking on Wednesdays, and swimming on Friday, except when it is raining in which case you will do something else. Simple rules create habits, complex rules create headaches.

Consistency is Key – The point of a habit is that it doesn’t require thought. Variety may be the spice of life, but it doesn’t create habits. Make sure your habit is as consistent as possible and is repeated every day for 30 days. This will ensure a new habit is drilled in, instead of multiple habits loosely conditioned.

Experiment – You can’t know whether a different habit will work until you try it. Mix around with key habits until you find ones that suit you. Don’t try to follow habits because you should, but because you’ve tested they and they work in your life.

[1]:  http://www.pickthebrain.com